Overview of MST Week

tmr is the last day of mst.....
finally!!!!
so looking forward to it.
and of course
CELL GRP!!!!

seems like the whole time i'm only looking forward to cg and svc......
i've changed.....
is an understatement lol...
maybe i should say i'm
TRANSFORMED!!!!
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sigh....duno wat to blog
nothing sad yet
(except the UCCD test sigh.....)
but nothing to happy also.....
(strange getting full marks for my ma1 didnt make me happy)
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oh i know i write abt the Purpose Driven that i'm reading daily
things that i feel is very meaningful

This is from the Day 10 of the book.
"The Heart of Worship is Surrender.

Surrendering to God is not passive resignation, fatalism, or an excuse for laziness.
It is not accepting status quo. It may mean the exact opposite:
Sacrificing your life or suffering in order to change what needs to be changed.

You know you're surrendered when you dont react to criticism
and rush to defend yourself.

Genuine surrender says, "Father, if this problem, pain, sickness, circumstance is needed to fulfil your purpose and glory in my life or in another's, please don't take it away"
This level of maturity does not come easy. "
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very true and meaningful right?
i was a bit stunned and dumbfounded.

3 Main signs if u have GENUINELY surrendered.

1. You will experience PEACE.
2. You will experience FREEDOM.
3. You will experience God's power in your LIFE.

i am pass the 1st stage!!!!
i experienced peace at heart now =D

as for the 2nd stage
i'm not sure 50/50???
or is it becaz i'm set free in his kingdom
but not yet in my "earth" ???

it is hard.
BUT i wont give up!!!!
i want to do Jesus your will.
i want to be ur servant.

I want to be ur FRIEND!!!!!
I pray this in Jesus name.
AMEN!!!!

The Long Awaited Friday

today is the day
Friday
the day whether i'm going to continue going for cg
or stop it temporarily
the end results is
Dad arrived on time today....
this means
i get to continue going for cg
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but i must say i duno i'm actually happy or sad
happy cause i really want to continue going to cg
sad cause.......
if i continue going for both church svc and cg
will i gain the trust and freedom to stay as long as i want???
i'm lost Jesus
where is ur shepherd for me???
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today i officially ended my 3 day fast for breakthrough
skipping a meal each day
i feel that fasting is gd
it calms me
praying during fasting really makes me feel not hungry
i should do it more often

they say fast for breakthrough cannot take only 1 day
that's why i decided to fast for 3 days
but my 3 days actually seems to pass very fast
and it is only partial fast
nxt time i should actually fast a whole day without food
and slowly extend it......
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i memorised something in The Purpose Driven by Rick Warren

"We are products of our past, but not prisoners of it"

i think this sentence can really be use in a lot of situation
i duno abt others but i think it is really applicable in my case
dun feel like explaining here
sigh.....
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Jesus
wat SHOULD i do next???
wat CAN i do next???

What i can do

i can only
Pray
Fast
Endure
Perseverance

a lot of friends are praying and even fasting for me thx a lot everyone =)
i'm going to start fasting myself as well tmr.....
for breakthrough!!!!
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nxt wk starting got test everyday
have to study hard
just hope that wat i studied stays in my mind

a lot of projects also must work harder
ECM
UCCD
CRM
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scared of fri's results.....
wat will be of my destiny and faith with cell grp

My Destiny

sigh...ytd was friday
cell grp day
which made me scared and nervous for the whole of thu
it was at clarke quay riverwalk
i didnt dare to tell my parents it was there
i just let them think it was the usual place bukit gombak
but i guess it was another big mistake......
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i avoided telling them
but ytd when cg ended my mum called me
i really couldnt hide anymore so i said i was at clarke quay
then a very cold conversation began
the whole call was abt 20mins
but it felt like the worst conversation i had
actually most of the time my mum was silent
making me kept checking my phone
whether she already hanged up on me
(she did that very often recently)

she was silent a lot of times
but whenever she speaks a sentence
it feels literally like there is a knife cutting my heart
some of the words that really really really hurt
"the biggest mistake of my life is letting u go to City Harvest"
watever she said i did not say anything
but wat my heart was saying
"joining City Harvest is the firmest choice i made in my life"

"u lied to me, ur betraying my trust"
but mum i didnt lie if i wanted to lie i would have told u it is at bukit gombak
i didnt.....
i didnt...........
I DIDNT!!!!
i wan to be a Christian who dun lie
lying is a sin
i really dun wan to sin anymore
thus when u called me i confessed.....
i CONFESSED i was at clarke quay
I ACTUALLY CONFESSED!!!!
becaz i was guilty i guessed

but mum if i really wan to lie to u
i would lie to u till the end
but i didnt.
I didnt.

I said nothing when she said that
just trying very hard to concentrate on not letting tears fall
Chee leng was beside me all the time
i could tell she was very worried for me also
but i really could not form words to talk to her
to assure her i'm fine
becaz i really dun feel fine
fine was the last feeling that i felt at that moment.....
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dun feel like remembering wat she said anymore
Catherine said before even though the words hurt
do not keep it into my heart
but these words.......
these words.........
i really duno.
Jesus Jesus....
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during the mrt trip back home from clarke quay
i actually thought of stop going cell grp for a month
to actually give more time to my parents to accept my new lifestyle
but i really dun wish to
my heart actually hurts when i think abt this

then i also thought of stop going church for a while
after lesson 14 of Sermon on the Mount ended
it is currently at lesson 11 today
cause that is the last lesson of the very meaningful msg
my heart ache till i feel like suffocating

but do u know wat
i went to CHC website just now
right on the homepage
"The exciting Sermon On The Mount(SOTM) was originally scheduled to be completed by 14 lessons, but it has been expanded to 22 lessons."
my heart stopped for a split sec and i stared at the announcement for some time

THIS IS WAT I CALLED GOD'S DOING!!!!!!
i immediately stopped the idea of not going to church for one month!!!
i couldnt bear not to also!!!!

however i duno abt the cell grp thingy
should i still continue
or should i really stop temporary

feel like the tighter i'm trying to hold on to God
the lesser i'm getting out of him
and when i opened my hands
i can only see air in it
Jesus is this a test ur giving me???
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Jesus i let u do ur will
u will decide for me

Dear Heavenly Father
dad is flying to Jakarta on monday
he is coming back on friday late afternoon
if he comes back on friday without delaying
i will continue to go for cell grp without stopping
which is wat i really really hope will happen!!!!

if he delays for a day or more
i will stop going for cell grp after my exams for a month
but plz plz plz dun let this happen

Jesus i commend myself into ur loving hands
in ur precious and almighty name
AMEN

Aftermath of Celebration

well it's june 14 which means that
june 13 is over
which means that
East Coast Celebration is over =(
really really didnt want the night to end
but i must say it was the best it could have been
with a few exceptions like Chia Yee & Zhi Yin not able to come
but other than that my other worries were all futile
hee......i get to stay till the very last min
becaz mum & dad drove to ECP and drove all my friends home lol
but the car was packed like sardines haha
but hey it was 10 ppl in a 7 seater Toyota Wish lol
not bad already =p
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i was quite worried ytd
cause it RAINED!!!!!!
TWICE SOMEMORE!!!!!
WHEN WE WERE STARTING FIRE!!!!!!
i was like
"Oh God Oh Jesus u cant do this to me"
"Please have mercy on me and let me enjoy today"
and.......whatcha know
it stopped raining!!!!
hee......God is a merciful Lord AMEN!!!
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thus we were able to continue with the bbq
whew.....
at 1st i was very disappointed cause the twins said they could not come on for my celebration
becaz their grandma dun allow
BUT BUT BUT!!!!
ytd at like 2pm+
Yilin called me and said the TWINS COULD COME!!!!
hahaha she managed to convince them and the twins in turn ask permission from their dad
and Praise the Lord!!!!
the 3 of them came together lol
hee......
although it was a pity catherine could only arrive at 8.15pm like that quite late
if not i actually really wanted her to be at the cake cutting time
but Jen they all have to go cause Ming Hao father was waiting for them.....
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then during the time when i can make a wish
i had wanted to make 3 wishes lol
and Jen could read my mind haha
she said "Must make 3 wishes" lol
for those who wanna know here are my 3 wishes
(i didnt say the 1st wish out loud)

1st wish: dad would no longer be against me going for church related activities anymore
2nd wish: I invited everyone to make a wish hee.....
quite weird of me right but actually since the surprise birthday party at cell grp
i had wanted to do something like this
but i guess i forgotten ba
somemore quite a lot of ppl i duno
so a bit embarrassed lol
just wanna get it over and done with =p

but yeah back to the purpose
i wanted to bless them all as well
so that this birthday is not just abt myself
becaz
friends i wanna let all of u know that
without u all
i wouldnt be the Tiffany i am today!!!

3rd wish: i wish that are their wishes come true =)=)=)
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ok i know somebody will SURELY ask
why so generous
why dun use all the wishes for urself
but as i read the Purpose Driven each day(gift by CL,YJ,Clarice,Darren)
i started to value other things than the "worldly possessions"
as i began to read a lot of my mindset start to take form
the form of God's way
my wavering mind
starts to finally take shape!!!!
thus i believe blessing others feels much much better than blessing myself
becaz if i bless myself
i can only get temporary satisfisation
but if i bless others
i will feel glad for them
and in return my happiness will definitely be doubled!!!!!!
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ok just 1 last thing abt ytd
i want to thank my best friends
Rain & Priscilla
for organising this celebration for me
it was not easy
coordination and cooperations are normally tough matters to handle lol
but everything turned out very well
thanks gals =D=D=D

also must thanks everyone for coming like ling ling she could only come for a few hours
then she had to go home
but i just wanna say thanks a lot for coming
each and everyone of u
even delconi also can come in the end hee.......
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ok i'm going to blog a little abt today......
i sms a few friends asking whether they would be interested to go for tmr cg
then 2 of them Delconi and Richard
asked me what is a cell grp
i sms back saying
"grp of christians coming together and pray then we sit around and talk and have fun after that"

but like a few hrs later i thought back abt the qn
what exactly is the purpose of a cell grp???
just a grp where church friends meet up???
then it dawned on me

quite a while back someone asked me to join a cell grp
that time i first heard of this name from Vincent
but i didnt really know so i ask the person
she said
"in our life, there are times where we need hlp
the hlp can be obtained in cell grp
when we pour out of our troubles
ppl will pray for us
becaz in those times
we NEED ppl to pray for us
only then will those obstacles come to pass soon"
i remembered wat she said.....
she told me this when i started going church 2 months ago
and this person is my aunt jane.

she is a very devoted christian also
but i realise i really know very little abt her
i believe i can learn a lot more from her.

another thing she told me when i started going to church
something that i will nv forget
i had said i would talk my parents into salvation by Jesus Christ also
but she had stopped me saying
"Dont use words to tell them, use ur actions to show them"
"show them u have become a better daughter to them"
and it was from these words that i had vowed to use my actions
to prove it to mum & dad!!!!!

but till this day june 14 from april 6
just how much had i convinced them
or has it already fallen to the scale of negative
where it is unrepairable for life?????

1ST 18TH BIRTHDAY POST!!!!!!!

hee.....it's official i'm 18 years old now already =)
well i'm going to take abt wat happened at 12am
i had my msn on and my hp switch to silent mode
and when 12am strikes!!!!
I WAS BOMBARDED!!!!!

there was at least 10 ppl at msn wishing me happy birthday
with 10sms coming in
haha it was quite comical
i was quite afraid my laptop will hang lol
all the orange windows catching my attention
i didnt even have time to properly response to all
and my sis was beside me laughing at my comical sight!!!!
but of course she argue that she is the one sitting beside me
and shaking my hand telling me Happy Birthday lol
insisting that she is the most special one hahaha.......
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all like having a competition to see who sms me 1st hahaha........
then in the morning when i woke up there was like another 7sms lol
nonetheless i'll like to sincerely thank all of u here.....
u all may think ur sms or instant msg wont be too much of a significant out of all
but i assure u
each and everyword of blessing and love will be encraved in my heart =)
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i'll like to highlight a few ppl

ok one of them is Santoso hee......
he was talking to me on msn since like 11pm while i was counting down
then he said he going to slp cause he slp very little last night
to be honest was a bit disappointed lor cause was like half an hr more
he can wish me an actual birthday liao
BUT
at 12.05am
he sent me a picture msg wishing me HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!
was so touched cause he actually stayed up for me =)=)=)
thanks san =D

another person is Chee Leng
she was actually the 1st person to sms me at 12am on the dot
(actually got another friend la but she sms me at 11.55pm lol)
she wish me a happy birthday and said
"Although it's ur birthday but i'm so happy=D"
i was very touched also.....
i duno how to say also but maybe because
she really understands how i feel and how special this birthday is
and she is very happy for me
thanks CL =D

of course there is also my best best friend Rain
(i think if i dun put her name she is going to kill me lol)
she said
"Rmb we r always dere for u :-)"
even though we are not in the same poly and had lesser contact
ur always my best friend!!!!!
friends are especially impt in unhappy times
thanks Rain =D

then there is Yee Jie
i think i loved her msg the BEST!!!
she quoted it from the bible
"Acts 14:22
we must go thru many hardships to enter the kingdom of God
rmb watever ur facing all this is to glorify HIM n be his witness
u'll nv be alone for the footprints left belongs to our LORD who's carrying u
be sure of ur living purpose n wat he has planned for u!
Happy BLESSED bday!!!"
i think this verse really speaks out wat is deep inside my heart
thanks YJ =D

one very funny person i must mention lol
she is.......TAN WEI YING!!!! Ying Jie haha
she said
"Happy 18th birthday tiffany....hope u enjoy today to the fullest.....
Erm....hate to mention, but we'll still have to find a day to meet up for projects...
gee...It will probably be nxt wk! Kk happy birthday"
haha i was like laughing non-stop lol
who will actually mention projects on a birthday wishing to someone lol
imagine seeing these words on a card haha
typical ying jie haha......
thanks for making me laugh lol
thanks Wei Ying =D
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there is really a lot lol but cant manage to put all here
but these are the most significant 1 i guess......
oh and some others who sms me and made me quite surprised lol
Ivan is one of them lol haha
he said
"Today is ur birthday right? Happy birthday! May all ur wishes come true!"
haha even though it was quite short but still appreciate the well wishings
if u all know him then u would know why i'm so surprised lol!!!!
thanks Ivan =D
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ok sorry for those who i cannot manage to put but just know that
i love ya all as well ok
dun be jealous ;p

overall it is a really blessed birthday for me along with the fact that
MY FAVOURITE SONG ONE LIFE ONE LOVE IS OUT!!!!!!!
finally waiting for weeks for it lol.....
listening to it the whole time while typing this blog
yet everytime i hear it
it feels like the 1st time i'm hearing it
it still brings forth fresh tears
tears that seal my life with Jesus!!!!
thank u for this blessed 18 birthday!!!!

LAST 17 years old entry

here i am waiting anxiously for 12am to arrive.....
currently 11.15pm
so i thought why not blog my last entry for age of 17 =p
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hmm......let's see for this year
quite a hard year for me i guess
in sch work
in imakeadeal business
in family
that's why i'm soooo looking forward to a new start
everything FRESH & ANEW!!!!
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but of course i believe that these experiences will only strengthen me
"Maturity is accepting Responsibility"
but havent my past performances shown my maturity?
IT Leader
IT Club President
Class rep
D&D Organsier
Running my own business IMakeADeal
wat is ur opinion of maturity???
Do i really dun deserve that trust and confidence u HAD in me?
where has it went to???
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sigh.....
mum and dad didnt even accompany me to countdown
went to bed at 11pm already......
they normally did it every yr.......
but why did they have to miss this so significant yr to me???
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now is 11.30pm
half an hr more
when 12am strikes
i will do my 1st 18 yr old prayer
for my BREAKTHROUGH!!!!!!!!
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counting down with my friends now!!!!!!!
decide to unblock "someone"
hee.....cause i'm going to be merciful like Jesus =)=)=)
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thinking when my birthday is over
everything is going to settle down once again
then i will revert back to the feelings of .........
but oh well must tell myself cannot think like that
IT WILL BE A BREAKTHROUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!
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11.40pm now
ok going to stop here.....
blog more tmr......

Sunday Svc

well had went to today svc at CHC....
had to walk all the way to hall 1 lol
cause they switched exhibition hall from hall 8 to hall 1 for a month
becaz of some foreign exhibitions i think.....

today's svc was GREAT!!!!
I am going to be the Salt & the Light of this world!!!!
I'm going to impact the marketplace!!!!

They sang my favourite song again at the end
as usual i cant stop and also dun feel like stopping tears rolling down
i'm not sad but very touched
that song really is like a vow that i will make to Jesus
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had my 2nd bible study(bs) today
hee....feel so blessed like the 1st time
although a bit guilty also cause cannot let my parents know
i had bs at 9am 1 hr before the svc so i had to wake up earlier also
but only in this way they wont know
cause i go out very early at like 7.15am they havent wake up ma
but if i end later than 1pm then surely they will keep calling me....

although also feel a bit like troubling catherine
cause she have to arrange purposely to give me bs
but i just wanna say i really enjoyed every sec of it =)
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sigh.....nowadays really dun feel satisfied even with 3hrs of svc
cg also friday only had been there for like 1 and a half hour
but i duno i feel that it is NOT ENOUGH!!!!
then the nxt time will have to wait till friday again sigh.......
my hunger for GOD is really like a bottomless pit now
bs and svc can only satisfied for like half a day
argh.......i want more more more =(=(=(
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oh i almost forgot wanted to blog something ytd
i "officially" pass joy the clubhouse key back
when 1st received the key
i cherished it a lot
cause it seems to symbolise power in the club =p
but when i pass to her on fri
i actually didnt feel sad or regret at all
so proud of myself
cause i feel that although i have given up the treasurer post in club
i received something greater
i received another key
the key is my heart
and the door is to the
KINGDOM OF GOD =)
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i look back to all my entries it seems that everything is revolving around Jesus
hee.....my life is really so different now
i cannot even imagine how i had pass my life in the past
Jesus Jesus Jesus
no long "I" in me but "Christ" in me!!!!
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countdown to my birthday is..........
2 MORE DAYS!!!!!!!!
i wonder how many sms will i get this year lol
i know who are the ones who had forgotten
i know who are the ones who are going to remember
however
i also know that i will LOVE ALL OF THEM
regardless whether they forgot or remembered=)=)=)
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soooooooooo looking forward to WED!!!!!
EAST COAST BBQ
CELEBRATING MY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!
faster come faster come!!!!!!!!

Surprise Birthday Party!!!!!!

I was very very happy ytd.....like the title said i had a SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY!!!!!

haha i'm still a bit high on happiness when i woke up today hehe.....
ok i'm going to blog abt EVERYTHING ytd so it is going to be VERY LONG here goes.......

actually had quite a tough day ytd and feeling not very well cause rushing projects etc....project due on 12pm but is like our 1st lesson starts on 10am and in that lesson we were like still pasting the photos and brochures of bank....was actually feeling a bit feverish but ignored it.....

then we(my grp members and I) almost had to skip lunch to print out and the report...in summary it was quite hectic.....

then we were late for our rwps class and gosh we forgotten that there was going to be another tcher in the class to assess our rwps tcher and we were LATE!!!

as if things cannot go worse i was called to ans a qn....but my mind was like blank because i was unwell so i had to say "I dont know"..... could see that the tcher was very disappointed cause she have high hopes on me......

Then all the weird things started coming....
1)sms came in with Yilin asking me do i wan to be a business woman in the future and wat is my top 3 fav colour..... i was like "erm....yeah i wanna be in the future but why does it concern my fav colour lol?" cause is like the 2 qns dun suit one another lol so found it quite weird.....

2) chee leng is also very weird lol cause she keep saying that she wan to go buy things after sch then meet me at bukit gombak before going cg together.....ask her buy wat but she dun wanna tell me lol....cause normally she will just say one ma so like a bit out of character..... in the end she said she got break between lessons so she bought liao so i was like "oh ok..."

3) then was doing my accounting and admin stuffs at IMakeADeal.....counting money profit and expenses etc....cause was quite messy so had to do for quite a while and it was actually like 6.15pm ba then esther called me (using catherine's phone) and asked me where am I....then i was like "erm...still in sch still got things to settle" then she said come asap....then less than 1 min Derek sms me....asking me to call him....i called him he said the same things as esther lol....asking me to come asap....i was like in a muddlehead wat's wrong with them all lol :p

4) another weird thing i was like counting money and cash sales but darren keep asking me hey it's time to go for ur cg....i said let me finished doing the stuffs 1st....then he said that "u better go for ur cg" 3 times in 15mins lol....i was thinking in my heart why u like keep chasing me hahaha....

ok guess that are all the weird things that happen before the cg lol....
now going to the cg.....i'm going to blog all my experiences in it......a lot of my prayers were answered.

chee leng, zu yi and i was walking(more like running in a slower pace haha) towards the twins house at the 5th floor...we could hear the voices just outside the place lol.....

1st Prayer Answered:
i was telling chee leng hope they will sing my favourite songs then chee leng say the "One life One love"....it was the song that i had wanted to sing but i told chee leng i dun think will have cause the song like quite new maybe they wont have the song yet.....

but when we went in and they passed us the song sheets i was stunt they had sang 2 praise songs and the nxt worship song is "ONE LIFE ONE LOVE" i almost couldnt believe it....Praise GOD!!!! no wonder catherine ask me go asap lol cause she knows i loved the song =D

then when we were singing my favourite song...catherine went abt praying for everybody.....

she knows a lot abt my family stuffs i think she actually knew the most compared to everyone else.......

she pray for me to have a breakthrough
to cling to GOD in times of trouble
to bring up my troubles to Jesus
place my troubles in Jesus's hands
not to be afraid of the obstacles i faced
to cry out to Jesus
actually she said a lot more but i think these are the most impt that i remembered

i broke down and cry when she said all those......
the words are actually very simple
something that i have been telling myself
something that i have heard a lot of times from others
but i just broke down and tears rolled down my cheeks.....

i can really feel the presence of GOD in that moment........

afterall everything was coming to an end....it was like 8.30pm already....
my curfew was 9pm.....
catherine asked Derek and Yilin to prepare the refreshments
Zu yi asked me there are refreshments one?
i was like i didnt know today have also lol
but i was quite anxious to get going cause i didnt want the situation like last sat to happen again....

i stood up and wanted to go to the kitchen and tell Yilin i was going to go(not go to the toilet lol unlike wat u all thought)
then it was like when i stood up catherine said very loudly
"Tiffany where are u going?"
i was quite shocked for a while cause is like a lot of ppl are there then she said so loud
AND she was at the OPPOSITE OF THE WHOLE ROOM
so it was like the whole room turned to look at me lol hahaha.....
i forgotten wat i said but i just moved backwards to the kitchen (cause i was sitting right at the door of the kitchen)
then Yilin was like pushing me out asking me sit down dun go anywhere......
it made me even more confused along with the fact that my brain is like not working well that day lol.....

i was FORCED to sit down again by Yilin and Chee Leng.....
i sort of guessed there was something i couldnt see at the back hahaha

then the announcement was finished and catherine announced today we are going to celebrate Tiffany's birthday lol!!!!!

the lights was off and i was pulled to the centre of the room by Catherine i think
everything was like in darkness hahaha
then Derek took out a cake with a candle
they sang me a birthday song in a Christian style haha
2nd time seeing that....
may all the blessing be upon u i think and the action of like sprinkling something on me that kind....
i felt so blessed.....

then yeah continuing on the list of my prayers answered

2nd Prayer Answered:
actually the whole day in sch my another friend is having her birthday today on June 9 so they were actually planning a surprise for her.....i was quite jealous actually cause my birthday was like only a few days after hers too but my grp of friends didnt know.....or should i say it slipped their mind i guess....so i was feeling quite miserable when they were planning behind the birthday's gal back.....

i was thinking i didnt have a surprise party before.....because my birthday always falls in the holiday and wont be seeing my friends and even if they celebrate for me i would know abt it cause they do not intend to make it a surprise......

AND MY 2ND PRAYER ANSWERED!!!! I HAVE A SURPRISE BIRTHDAY PARTY that belongs to no one but ME!!!! hee.......

Catherine asked me to say something after they sang the birthday song......
i was like saying this is my 1st Christian birthday with them and i assure that it wont be the last hee..... actually i was thinking of saying a lot more but my mind was blank and i think i was maybe still in a state of shock and surprise lol........

3rd Prayer Answered:
they started giving me all the presents they prepared for me....and Catherine gave me a CHC Cross CD.....it was EXACTLY WAT I HAD WANTED when i was browsing through the Attributes bookstore hahaha.....PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!

4th Prayer Answered:
Just the other day i was thinking of buying a Christian book abt growing my spiritual faith but was not clear of wat to buy......i thought of asking ppl to recommend and.....

TA DA!!!!
Chee Leng, Clarice, Yee Jie and Darren bought me my FIRST EVER CHRISTIAN BOOK. it was called The Purpose Driven. i'm going to read it everyday =)

5th Prayer Answered:
The 4 of them also bought me a cross for me when i actually thought of buying one myself also hahaha.....it is like miracles upon miracles cause it was as if they could READ MY MIND.....i love ya all and really appreciate everything.

some other presents are a ME TO YOU BEAR by Yilin...she squeeze my cheeks and force me to say i like it haha so cute of her but i was like going to tear already so i hug her and said I LOVE IT thank you.

Another one is Zu Yi giving me a pair of slippers......i was really like experiencing surprises after surprises lol he ACTUALLY KNEW MY SHOES SIZE!!!!!!!! then he said it was common sense lol hahaha though he just like give me a shoe box like that without wrapping or something haha then he said it was branded because the box is "DEFINE ITALIAN COLLECTION" and the box had a marker that wrote $49 lol....haha but i think the degree of truth should be quite low cause he kept saying that his money is all in the bank and he dun have atm card haha....
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it's very long already lol.....4 pages and almost 1700 words already....

in conclusion

1)This is the BEST BIRTHDAY I EVER HAD!!!!
2)I feel even more connected to Jesus after the cg
3)I am not going to be the same again
4)I'm transformed by the Holy Spirit
5)I'm blessed
6)I laid down my life on the altar of GOD
7)One word by him i will DEFINITELY follow
8)My heart was broken to him
9)I'm open to GOD to use me
10)I found my purpose in Jesus
11)I will not be afraid of the obstacles ahead
12)I know Jesus will be there for me
13)I will bring my troubles up to him
14)I will cling to him no matter wat
15)I will repent from all my sins and obey GOD
16)I will not worry abt the unnecessary anymore
17)My only worry time will be during my prayer time where everything is lifted up to Jesus
18)I WILL BE ON FIRE FOR JESUS MY SAVIOUR, MY HEALER & MY LORD!!!!!!!!

Jesus
i thank u for blessing me with everything i have now and will have in the future
i thank u for blessing each and everyone who hlp me in my walk of faith
i thank u for giving me the chance to meet them
i thank u for being there for me
i thank u for listening to my prayers
i thank u for changing my life
i thank u for creating City Harvest Church
i thank u Jesus for being u
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i actually took 2 hours to blog this entry lol....but i'm watching the 5pm live svc of CHC at the same time :p

i will always remember this special day in my heart.

Countdown

hmm.....today finished MA1 presentation......
whew.....heaved a sigh of relieve.....
ambrose really very scarey......
but he say our class did well
say we are currently the best among his tut class
but i heard that he told the same to dbf 06 also lol.....

nvm just glad it is over left friday hand in BFI report
then projects are officially over....(or at least this wk due ones lol)
then have to go into study mood liao.......

maybe i'm too relaxed in my studies....
must buck up and revise more after my birthday lol :p
must prove to dad.....
becoming a christian will actually motivates me to work harder for my studies
***********************************************************************
countdown of 6 days....
my sec sch friends actually organising a birthday celebration for me at East Coast lol
currently is like 18 ppl already haha.....
very touched......miss them a lot also.......
look forward to seeing them after ages..... (",)

I decided.....

No point dwelling over wat i cannot solve....
i'm like just crying over my misery.....
but wat gd will it do?

Pastor Kong had said:
We do have needs
We do have things that we are concerned and worried abt but
Jesus u said
Look at the lilies in the field
Look at the birds of the air
they neither grief nor worry or panic
because our heavenly father provides for all of them
and we are worth MORE than the lilies
we are worth MORE than the sparrows
Not a single strand of hair will fall from our head to the ground with Jesus knowing abt it.

i should just concentrate on Jesus's teachings not my own misery......
Jesus i'm sorry......
******************************************************************************
got a worship song really describes my feelings......

I'm coming back to the heart of worship
And it's all about u
It's all about u Jesus

I'm sorry Lord for the things i've made it
when it's all abt u
it's all abt u Jesus
******************************************************************************
nowadays everyone around me seems to be very troubled and stressed.....
is it because those who are born in the yr of snake really have a bad year....

sigh......
知不知道為什麼人總覺得過去比現在好 因為過去的已經過去了 就這麼簡單

Translation:
Do you know why people always feel that the past is better than the present?
Because wat had passed had passed.
It's that simple.

IT'S ONLY MONDAY!!!!

start with something happy 1st.....
ytd i downloaded E-BIBLE TO MY N71......
it is sooooooo COOL.....
from now on i can read it everywhere and anyway....
wat's more it is
practically no weight....(except my hp weight of course) =D
******************************************************************
seems like nowadays i'm particularly looking forward for
church svc (sun) & cell grp(fri)
wonder why???
maybe because i can see my beloved cg members =)
maybe because it gives me peace.....
or maybe just because i dun feel like staying home......
******************************************************************
Sigh....feel very stupid....
feel like knocking my head on the wall.....
why do i ALWAYS have to make the mistake
BEFORE
realising it is WRONG....
shouldnt had that "talk"
seems to only worsen the situation
maybe i dun really know my parents at all
trying to act like nothing happen is hard....
the thorn will always be in the hearts....
heart and mind is soooooo NOT at peace!!!!

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ARGH!!!!! 18 BIRTHDAY FASTER COME!!!!!!!!

have a feeling that only after my birthday will i start anew
live a fresh new life
live a life of a Christian
live a life that belongs to me.......

Worst Sat Night

Ytd my prayers were answered....i was allowed to go to the sat svc with most of my cg ppl. It was a very memorable day as well with lots of surprises.....there was this taiwan pop artist who proposed to his gf in front of the whole church lol....didnt really know him i also forgot his name already lol.....then it was Sun Ho's birthday also and the church gave her a surprise also with cake and flowers......reminds me of my coming birthday also.....

i guess i could understand why vincent like to stay in church for so long......
the singing of the songs......
the unity of the church.....
singing as one single voice....

i could only stay till 8.30 had to leave....
but i really enjoyed
really hope that time will nv pass.....
i even hope to stay for another 3 hours
unrealistic i know......

came back home at 10.20pm....
had a confrontation talk with my parents....
but it was 3 of them(including my sis) against me.....
never cried so badly before.......
they really dun understand
i duno how to make them understand....

Thx for the encouragement from everyone...
really appreciated it.....

when everything is in darkness,
light of friendship will be the brightest.

Emerge 2007

hey i forgot to blog abt the Emerge 07 that i went to City Harvest Church ytd lol.....

svc is supposed to start at 10am but we(my cell grp ppl n I) had to meet at 8.30am and queue up lol.....it was very hot and very long queue....catherine(my cg leader) said some ppl queued at 7am lol.....but it was at singapore expo lol i had to get out of house at 7am to reach there at 8.30am haha.......

i didnt get to stay for the whole svc because i was going to the PC show at suntec city but i really enjoyed the time i stayed there.....ytd we actually sang for a whole hour lol but i dun mind more haha.......

i really love the worship song that was sung by alison yap....i thought my tears had dried up but everytime i hear and sing that song.....it seems that fresh tears will appear..... here is a bit of lyrics of the song

Who am I
That u would know me right from the start
set me apart
Who am I
That u would place eternity into my heart
.........
.........(forgot the lyrics here)

(My favourite part)
One life I lay at ur altar
One love I have with u
Touch me again
Fill me as u hold
My outstretched hands

One word u know i will follow
One heart broken to u
Use me again
Ur mercies follow me
For all my days

Really whenever i sing this i will feel like crying i just duno why......maybe i feel very touched ba

I really want to know more abt Jesus.....
but.....Mum, Dad do u really understand how I feel???
I want to grow up both in faith and in my life???
I really want to go for bible study too.....sigh.....
***************************************************
ok enough abt ytd i'm going to glorify God today!!!
I missed going to church already since ytd only went for like 1hr plus
didnt feel satisfied yet.....
i was thinking only sun then can go then just now on the way back home
i called my mum and she said maybe tmr after going malaysia tmr go to the sat svc with me
hee.....although she say no guarantee must see whether dad will object
but at least God did answer my prayers and i may have the chance to go tmr =)
***************************************************
Oh and today is the 1st of june already hee.....
countdown to 12th of june my 18th birthday =)=)=)
i have a feeling this yr birthday would be very different......
cause it is my 1st birthday as a Christian after a spiritual reborn!!!
cause it is my 1st 18 birthday!!!!(lol 1st and last 18th birthday how many 18th birthday can a person have haha)
cause Jesus is with me =)=)=)

Jesus please grant me 2 birthday wishes......
May my walk of faith with u be smooth without obstacles......
May u bless everyone around me especially those who are troubled a wish to help them through.....
I pray this in your precious and almighty name. AMEN!!!!